She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
