I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
