You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
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