Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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