Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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