You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
