Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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