i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Too much gin, very little bucket
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
