My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
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