Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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