the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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