Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
