So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
