I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
