Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
