Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
50% drunk capacity currently
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
