While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Never underestimate the power of titties
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
