I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize