Define "chronic" masturbator.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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