guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
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We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
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The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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