will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
