Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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