I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
