Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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