I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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