I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
