I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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