I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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