Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
