Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
