this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
