i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
