...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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