God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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