I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
