doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
