Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
