My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
