therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?