just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
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Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
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My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?