I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.