I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
