JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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