What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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