lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
