haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize