she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
