did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i drank out of a bidet.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
whose parrot is this?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
