my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
