I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
