New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
