i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
