I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
