Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
The power of my boobs compel you
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
