you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
there is glitter all over my balls
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
