I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize