Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
No subtext here. People are naked.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
