I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
