Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
