dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
