I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
