I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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