She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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