I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
