Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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