I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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