she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
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I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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