therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
