I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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